Do you wish you could return to a moment in your past?

The best time in my life so far (or at least the time with the best memories) was elementary school. I know this is unconventional, but I stand with my statement. As an elementary school student, I wasn’t burdened with as many worries and insecurities that burden me today as a highschool student. There was no college to think about, no things to constantly be taking care of, and there was almost no homework. School itself was easy for me, so I spent my time having fun with my friends and having new experiences. But let me be clear: if I was able to go back, I don’t think I would say yes. To reverse the maturity and learning that I have done since then would honestly be very stupid. You have to remember: returning to childhood innocence would in turn require a return to childhood ignorance, something that I don’t wish on anyone, including myself. Even though, in times when things are especially tough, a part of me does wish I could go back to a time when everything was more simple, I acknowledge that just because things seemed easier didn’t mean they were. As a child, one’s eyes are tainted with limited understanding and awareness of the surrounding world. As far as I knew, the world was perfect and nothing could ever go wrong. Of course, as I became a middle schooler I realized that more and more things that I had thought were concrete facts turned out to be just myths, incredibly well-constructed by my infantile brain. Little did I know… Central America was actually in North America, not South America (as I thought at the time). Little did I know… homework is not as fun as I thought it would be. Little did I know… “inventor” isn’t actually a valid profession. Little did I know… leather jackets are not as cool as I thought they were. Little did I know… my life would not be a walk in the park.

Fast forward to now, and I have already started my college applications but I don’t know what I want to study. I don’t even know if I am going to go to college right after I graduate, or if I’m going to take a gap year. When I was younger, it felt like the system was supporting me. I was in an intricate web of adults, helping me do what I needed to do, providing me with stability. Even though it meant I had nothing to worry about, I longed for independence (as kids do). It’s funny how you always want what you can’t have. 

The truth is, even when I’m on vacation, I’m not on vacation. There’s always something to do: start college applications, sign up for a meeting, apply to scholarships. You can’t just relax, and sometimes it drives me mad, because I just want to be able to do nothing, and not feel like I’m being unproductive. When you’re a kid, you have a very limited sense of the future. You don’t really know that one day you’re not going to be an elementary schooler, and so you don’t think about what’s going to happen. You only live in the now. That kind of mindset is something that a lot of older people would like to have, because so many people struggle with looking forward too much.

So, if I’m being honest, I wouldn’t want to go back. Even though I had a much more relaxed life, it would just be stupid to want to go back to a time when I knew nothing of the world, where I was just a uniform child with little self-formed opinions. And, after all, I can’t change what has already happened, but I can change what happens in the future.


Comments

  1. EthanSeptember 3, 2021 at 7:37 AM

    You do a really good job of explaining the pros and cons of going back in time. Specifically, the second to last paragraph shows great perspective on how it is hard to mentally relax at this age. I really liked the conversational tone of this essay. "I stand with my statement" "The truth is" and other phrases help with this. Great job!

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  2. ZhaohanSeptember 3, 2021 at 7:42 AM

    I really like the reflection you do here. It says a lot about your values and who you are. I would say something you could improve might be word choice in order to improve the flow of your essay. I really like the section you did about "little did I know... XYZ" though.

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  3. ArjunSeptember 3, 2021 at 7:53 AM

    I liker how complex your essay is. How even though elementary school was your favorite period in your life, you wouldn't want to go back then. I love the section with a series of "little did I know" statements, that succeeds in the objectives of being authentic, humorous, and reflecting on your past viewpoints. Great job!

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